The Rules Of Dating
by BabySpeed
Summary: 16 year old lindsey willows...her take on the dating game..
1. Ten Rules

Title: The rules of dating.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the show or any actually events. I do own most of these rules though, lol.

Summary: I skipped Lindsey ahead a few years, she's 16. Lindsey Willows tells the CSI team her take on dating…and deals with the reactions…

Rating: pg-13 (mostly)

The Rules of Dating…

Lindsey Willows threw open her front door and dropped her school bag onto the floor in the hall way and burst into the living room.

Her mom Catherine was there with Warrick Brown, Nick Stokes and Sara Sidle. Lindsey was far from happy.

"What's up, Linds?" her mom asked her as she stood in the doorway of the living room.

"Guy's suck."

"What happened?" Sara asked her

"Men happened" Catherine hid a smile.

"You wanna elaborate?" Nick asked her

"I thought about this the whole way home…I think I have it all figured out"

"Really? Then I'm ready to hear 'cos I've been tryna figure out men since I was 13" Sara said

"Oh, I just gotta hear this" Warrick commented folding his arms and leaning back in the chair.

Lindsey shrugged off her zipper and threw it over the back of one of the other chairs.

"Ok, Rule one. Men are idiots!"

"You noticed that, huh?" Catherine asked her. Warrick threw a cushion at Cath

"Rule two. They don't know what the hell they want!"

"She's good" Sara said to Cath. Nick looked at Rick, they were out voted

"Rule three… they all want commitment till ya give it too 'em"

"Hey!" Nick and Warrick cried at the same time

"What? It's true! And I'm not done" Lindsey said

"Carry on rippin' us apart then Miss Willow's" Nick told her

"Rule four…so they get commitment…then they want their freedom…so naturally you oblige…_then _they try to accuse you of being wit someone else!"

"Where were you when I was 16?" Sara asked her

"Then of course there's Rule five…you can't win no matter what the hell you do!"

"What the hell does that mean!" Nick cried

"It means that we could wear the shortest skirt we own, and it would be TOO short, or we could wear a longer one and it wouldn't be short enough" Lindsey told him crossing her arms.

Cath looked at Rick, who looked at Nick, who shrugged. Sara shoved him. He looked at her and she raised an eyebrow in challenge. He threw her a grin instead and sat back on the chair.

"I think this conversation is sexist" Warrick said. Cath hit him over the head

"This brings me to Rule six…If it's not soccer, food or sex…it gets disregarded real fast"

"There's the one I wanted to hear!" Cath said.

"Ok, that's just not true" Warrick said.

"No, but see Rick, it is! Coz men suck. It's a fault in your genetics. It's like an airbag in your car…It comes as standard."

Catherine and Sara burst into laughter and couldn't contain it. When they finally calmed down, Cath was wiping tears from her eyes and Sara had one arm clutching her stomach. Nick and Rick looked less than impressed.

"You done?" Nick asked 16 year old Lindsey

"No. Rule seven…If they actually tell you where they goin'…that's NOT where they're goin'"

"Ok, explain that one Linds" Sara looked confused.

"Sure. It's like this…For example, if they say "Am goin to my grandparent's house" and it just so happens to be a Saturday night, they're actually goin' to see their secret girlfriend that lives 3 streets from ya"

"That is so stereotypical that ALL men are like that." Nick said

"Yea, not all of us step out on their girls" Rick told her.

"Yea a'ight Rick…anyways Rule Eight…whatever you do…don't give in…it screws with their head coz there actually big wimps under that whole tough guy kick ass attitude"

"Shoulda took notes on this…" Sara said. Nick turned his body slightly to face her and she smiled innocently.

"How about you sleep on the sofa tonight then?" Nick asked her

"You wouldn't…" She challenged him, almost in a dare

"Ohhh, I would" Nick told her.

"Guys…domestics outside please…blood's pretty hard to get out of the carpet…plus when I get questioned about your murders I won't be lyin' when I say I didn't see anything…" Lindsey told them. This time it was Rick who was laughing.

"Yea, she's definitely your daughter, Cath" He told her

"Ok, if you guys are done, am _not_…I believe we're at Rule nine?"

"How many Rules you got?" Cath asked her

"Ten…Rule nine…Never underestimate the fragility of the male ego"

"What!" Rick asked her

"Put it this way…never talk to you're guy's best mate at any kind of party where you're guy is not right next to you at the time of the conversation…he immediately fly's for your hip to make sure your not flirtin…"

"You guy's cannot argue with that! You do it all the time!" Cath said.

" No, we don't!"

"Nick, every time Greg so much as look's at Sara, you get that look that say's, "Try it, I'll kill you" and Rick, remember that time we met that guy you knew from college? I thought you were gonna strangle him!" Cath told them.

Sara turned to Nick with a "See?" look on her face. It was true. Nick had told her at the start of the relationship, in joking, that Greg would only have to look at her in the wrong way and he'd kill him. He was protective of her around Greg. Warrick looked at Cath. She cocked her head side ways, daring him to deny it. They'd met Aaron Hawkins, that Rick knew from growing up and he hadn't been able to take his eyes off of Cath. Rick had almost took him out right there in the middle of sidewalk. Rick threw his hand's up, giving in. Nick simply shrugged.

"And finally we have Rule ten…" Said Lindsey who had watched the entire exchange in interest.

"Ohhh god, there's more!" Nick cried

"You've done enough damage, girl!"

"Ohhh no, she finishes!" Sara told the two of them.

"Rule ten…We will always be the better sex…no matter what you think…why? Because we have better clothes, shoes and more sex appeal than you'd know what to do with. Plus, we're stronger. Why? Because you guy's wouldn't last a day in our monthly cycle."

"I'm beginnin' to wanna bury you under the patio" Warrick said, clearly in a sulk

"I believe you call that case closed…Bottom line from the jury? Men Suck."

Lindsey turned and walked outta the room leaving Cath and Sara in laughter and Nick and Rick completely and utterly out voted and wondering what the hell was going on in there girlfriends heads.

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	2. He Just Aint Into You

Title: The rules of dating.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the show or any actually events. I do own most of these rules though, lol.

Summary: I skipped Lindsey ahead a few years, she's 16. Lindsey Willows tells the CSI team her take on dating…and deals with the reactions…

Sorry I aint wrote for a while...but a couple of reviews and a recently broke heart caused this chapter, thanks for the shove in the right direction guys!!

Rating: pg-13 (mostly)

The Rules Of Dating...Take Two

Lindsey Willows left her last period for the day and breathed a sigh of relief. Heading to her locker she grabbed the books she needed and headed out of the school building. Walking slowly, she kept her head down. As she passed a group of guys, there conversation caught her attention.

"Yea, But Man, HOW do ya tell a chick you just ain't..."Guy One trailed off

"In to her?? Just like that...I aint into you!" Guy Two shrugged his shoulders..Lindsey couldn't move.

"That's a tad cruel man." Guy One shot back

"You wanna be stuck in a situation?" Guy Two asked him

"He is a situation.." Guy Three shot back, and with that, the conversation Lindsey had stopped to eavesdrop on had stopped. But as the guys in the campus instantly forgot what they'd been talking about, Lindsey couldn't.

"_I Aint Into You.."_

And she thought about it the whole way home. She was still thinking about it when she reached her back garden. Her dating rules had just come un-stuck with one sentence from a complete random she'd never even met.

And she was STILL thinking about that ONE line when her Mom, Warrick, Sara and Nick came through the back gate that night.

"Hey Linds.." Sara said

"Hey" Lindsey replied without breaking her gaze.

"Sup Linds?" Warrick had worry etched across his face

"I Aint Into You" Lindsey Replied

"Wow, Don't hold back there Linds, say it how it is!" Nick Said

"Am not talking about Rick...Some random at school got me all confused"

"A random?" Cath looked confused

"Yea, a guy i've never even SPOKE to..."

"And he aint into you?" Sara asked, the same confused look on her face as cath

"Not me...his chick"

"And your not his chick?" Nick asked

"No, he's a random"

"So_ HOW _do you know he aint into you??" cath asked

"I don't" Lindsey answered, truthfully

"But you do know that he aint into his "Chick"?" Sara asked

"Am lost...Linds what you tripping about?" Rick said

"Right, I thought i had guys all figured out and in one sentence, some twit has muddled it all up"

"That sentence being, "I Aint Into You" ?" Nick asked

"Yea.."

"Sensible guy" Rick and Nick said

"HUH??" Cath, Lindsey and Sara turned to look at them

"Look Linds, You did good...but ya gotta see it from a guys point of view"

"Case Open!" Nick said

Lindsey looked at Rick like he was insane. Nick had to laugh

"Seriously Linds...Guys don't just back off cause we're complete _twits, _and not all of us use excuses, but the guys who do?? He's Just Not Into You...and he's too much of a guy to tell you"

"Excuses? Like what?" Cath Asked

"Yea, Come on guys, spill"

"We don't gotta spill..._YOU_ already know them all...and you's chicks are damned good at makin excuses for our excuses..." Nick replied

"Do NOT!" Sara and Cath cried at the same time

Lindsey's head shot round to look at Catherine and Sara...Her facial expression said it all. It wasn't the first time she'd heard her Mom be mad at Rick and excuse him the minute Lindsey stuck up for her. Or Sara. She'd done it herself. Not just with Nick but Grissom.

"So what's an excuse?" Lindsey asked

"Guys are simple Linds...Trust me...If he ain't calling you, he ain't thinking about you, then he just ain't into you. He's not into you if he's disappearing on you, he's just not that into you if he's got some secret chick three streets down from yah" Nick said. Lindsey stuck her tongue out as Nick used her own conversation back against her

"Linds, if your doin all the running, think why" Rick said. That made sense

"So...what your saying is...if i stop callin_ HIM.._I'll stop torturing myself??"

"Pretty much..Only reason we ain't telling to stop calling is the fact that nothing scares a guy more than seeing a girl cry, or what she might do if she's angry _AND _cryin..And we caused it"

Lindsey looked totally deep in thought. Cath shook her head

"Hold it...are you telling me that if I'd stopped trailin after that guy in high school, I wouldn't have been half as heart-broken as I was? In what world does that make sense?"

"Yea, and it does make sense" Nick answered simply

"So_ BASICALLY _what your telling me is...I'm breakin my own heart thinking that guys are breakin it?" Lindsey asked

Nick and Rick looked at each other, and shrugged.

"If you aint taking getting played about with, how can you be heartbroken?"

"So really the case is still closed" Lindsey said, matter of factly

"How you figure that?" Cath asked

"Men Still Suck"

Lindsey smiled and stood up and walked back to the house

"Age is she?" Nick asked, lookin at cath

"Old enough to kick your ass into touch!" Sara replied

Nick and Rick were again left sitting out voted as Sara and Cath laughed at just how right Lindsey had been..Twice!


End file.
